The Serenity Prayer
by Upsgirl88
Summary: Carol Peletier is a volunteer with AA and one night her job brings her to a man, Daryl Dixon, in the hospital. She feels an immediate connection and sees so much of herself in him without even knowing his story. But like so many are, he's in denial and refusing to admit he has a problem. Will he allow Carol to be part of his recovery? Or return to the life that almost killed him?
1. Chapter 1

_AN: I just want to start by saying that I'm not personally familiar with AA and how the whole thing works. I'm doing a little research as I write, but I understand that it's always better to write about something you're familiar with. So I just want to be upfront now and make it clear that if I screw up on the details or have events happen that wouldn't normally happen, that I mean absolutely no disrespect to the program or anyone who has been through it or knows it well. (Also, for those of you waiting on chapters of Wild Heart, Last Man on Earth, or Red Strokes - they will still be coming out regularly. I'm hoping to finish all three within a week or so which is why I'm posting this one now.) Hope you enjoy this new idea :)_

 _ **The Serenity Prayer**_

 _ **God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.**_

"Hey Carol," the nurse said with a tired smile. "Been a busy week, huh?"

Carol nodded her head sadly, "Sure has."

"Got another one, 7B. Alcohol poisoning. Almost lost him." The call bell went off and the nurse started to leave. "He's stable, awake and really cranky - good luck."

Carol looked down at the folder in her hand. She slowly opened it and pulled out a pamphlet and a flyer. She used to get nervous before walking into a hospital room to talk to a complete stranger about their drinking problem. But she'd been doing it for several years and she'd met all kinds of people. She was used to the angry reactions, the denial, and the resistance. There were some she couldn't get through to and it was quite obvious they didn't want help from her or anyone. There were easy ones that had hit rock bottom and were looking for someone to finally reach out to them. And there were the ones in between that acted tough and put up a good fight, but deep inside they were crying out for help. Those were Carol's favorites because she loved the challenge and the feeling of success when she finally got through to them.

She walked to 7B and rapped on the door jam before entering. What would this visit bring, she wondered. "Hi," she said politely. "My name is Carol and I just wanted to talk to you for a moment about the organization I work for, Alcoholics Anonymous."

"I ain't no damn alcoholic," the man snapped at her. "Don't bother wasting your time."

That was the typical response from almost every person she met with. Most were more polite though. She studied his face for a moment. Even though he'd been through alot in the last day or so she could tell he was a handsome man. She glanced at the information board for his name. "Daryl, is it?" she asked.

"Yeah," he grunted.

"Do you mind if I sit for a moment?" she asked, gesturing to a chair beside his bed.

"Whatever," he shrugged. "I just wanna go home," he added softly. It was the most gentle she'd heard his tone of voice yet.

"You've had a rough couple days," Carol said. "I'm sure you'll get out of here soon, but they need to make sure you're okay first."

"I'm fine," he snapped. "I had a little too much booze the other night and the next thing I knew I was in cuffs in the back of an ambulance."

"How often do you drink?" she asked gently.

"Ain't none of your fucking business," he hissed, glaring at her.

Carol took a breath and gave him a warm smile, "I'm just trying to help." She saw him soften instantly. He didn't say anything, but his body language changed enough to tell her that he felt bad for the way he was acting. That's when Carol knew he was from column number three - he was acting like he didn't need help, but inside he was scared and screaming for someone to save him. "I know it's really easy to just drink away your pain. But it's dangerous. You almost died Daryl…"

"The fuck do you know about pain?" he interrupted her. "Look at you, sitting pretty with your cushy job…"

"I'm a custodian at a school," Carol cut in. "This isn't my job. I don't get paid to be here. I'm a volunteer."

"Whatever," he growled, clearly embarrassed by his assumption. "You don't know me. You don't get it…"

"Oh but I do," she countered. "I was exactly where you are right now, just over 10 years ago." His scowl faded slightly and he narrowed his eyes. "I would have died if my neighbor hadn't come by to borrow the push mower." Carol started into her story. There weren't many times she'd used her own past to get through to someone. It was too personal and most of the time it was her last resort. But there was something so familiar in his eyes. It was the same look she'd seen in her own eyes every time she looked in the mirror - right before she cracked the lid on the vodka bottle and drank away her pain. "I was passed out on the kitchen floor, lying on my back asphyxiating on my own vomit when he came in." Daryl didn't speak, he just listened, wordlessly.

"My ex husband used to beat the shit out of me. I didn't drink because of the physical abuse," she shrugged. "It hurt, and sometimes I even craved the pain because it reminded me I was still alive." Carol shivered thinking of that dark place she'd been in. "I drank because I hated myself for staying. If I just got drunk I didn't have to think about how much of a coward I was to stay with a man who abused me every single day." She paused for a moment. "It feels good, doesn't it? When you drink to the point where you don't give a shit about anything anymore?" She looked at Daryl and saw the empathy in his eyes. "When I woke up that day I was here and I was scared. I tried to pretend I was fine, but they saw the bruises - they knew." Carol bit her lip. "I met the most amazing man, he's my sponsor now. He shared his own story with me and he made me realize that I needed help… When I finally accepted I had a problem, both the alcohol and the husband - that's when my world changed." She smiled at him again. "So yes, I do get it. And I'm here because I want to help you just like someone did for me a decade ago."

"I'm sorry that happened to you," He said, avoiding her eyes. Carol knew he'd seen himself in her and he just couldn't look at her right then. "But I'm fine… really."

Carol stood. "Listen, just come to a meeting. If it's not for you there are other ways we can help… but at least you tried." She set the papers on the table beside him. "I'll just leave those there for you to look at when you're ready." She had no idea why, but something made her lean in and kiss him on the forehead. He flinched slightly but didn't stop her. "There's a meeting tonight at 11, downstairs. You should try it." With that, she back away slowly towards the door. "It was nice to meet you Daryl. Please go to the meeting."

"You be there?" he grunted, finally looking at her again.

"If you want me to be there I will," Carol nodded. She hadn't intended on going that night, since it was still several hours away, but it would give her time to go home and shower first, grab some dinner, so it wouldn't be a huge deal.

"Didn't say I was gonna go…" Daryl mumbled.

"I'll see you at 11," she replied, giving him a little wave before disappearing. Success, Carol thought, allowing herself a little smile as she headed for the elevator. 


	2. Chapter 2

Carol arrived at the meeting at 10:45 and Daryl was already there, near the back, in a wheelchair. She walked over to him with a smile on her face. She had no doubt he would be there, but it still felt good to actually see him at the meeting. "Hey," she said, walking up to him. "You gonna hang at the back or should we move up a few rows?"

"We could I guess," he shrugged. "But you'll have to…" Daryl lifted his arm until the handcuffs clinked and he couldn't lift it any further.

"What's going on?" She asked, confused. She tried to remember if he'd been restrained earlier in his hospital room, and images of a guard lingering in the hallway came flooding back.

"My escort didn't feel like staying for the meeting so he locked me up," Daryl grumbled. "If I try to run I'll be dragging along this wheelchair."

Carol rolled her eyes. "Is that really necessary?" She didn't get the sense that he was the type to take off. "What are the charges?"

Daryl looked embarrassed. "It's a pretty long list," he replied with a sigh. "Drunk and disorderly, disturbing the peace, resisting arrest… I think I left the bar without paying… and I might have been in a fight too," he said, looking at his bruised hand. "I don't really remember though, maybe I just punched a wall."

"All misdemeanors," Carol muttered in thought.

"I ain't fighting the charges… they appointed me an attorney. He thinks I'll get 30 days and maybe some community service," Daryl said, blushing again. "I just wanna go home." He'd said the same thing earlier and again it made her feel so bad for him.

"Please tell me this is your first offence," she replied as an idea was brewing in her mind.

"Couple speeding tickets on my bike… but yeah, this is my first arrest," he nodded. "I've seen it all before with my brother and my daddy though," Daryl added bitterly. "Guess I ain't no better than them now." The sadness in his voice hit her right in the heart and Carol knew that he was feeling extremely worthless.

"People make bad choices, doesn't always make them bad people," she said gently.

"They are bad people," Daryl snapped.

Carol gave him a look. "I meant you."

"Oh," he said in surprise, looking up at her. "Right…" he mumbled, looking away. He doesn't deal with compliments well, Carol thought. Time for another one.

"Daryl, I think you're a good person who is just on a rough road right now," she started. "That's why I want to help you… and I have an idea…" He looked at her again, through squinty eyes, waiting for her to continue. "You're gonna get some community service for sure, there's nothing I can do about that… But sometimes with a first offence, in cases where alcohol was involved and the crimes are minor the DA will offer a plea bargain that involves AA." She had heard of it a few times at meetings, so Carol knew it was possible. "Talk to your lawyer and have him call my boss," she said. "The number is on the paperwork I left you. It would involve admitting you have a drinking problem and committing to the AA program… likely weekly urine samples… but it could keep you out of jail… and…" she paused and bit her lip for a moment. "I think it's something you should do anyway."

"I really don't wanna spend time in the slammer," Daryl replied quickly. "But I told you, I ain't got a drinking problem," he added stubbornly.

Carol walked around behind him and started to push the wheelchair forward. "How about you listen for a while, see what you think, we'll talk after." She took a seat in the chair beside where she'd parked his wheelchair.

The meeting started as the volunteer leader read out the preamble - Carol knew it by heart at that point and said it in her head, " _ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety."_

She'd been to countless meetings and they were all a little different, but overall very much the same. Sometimes lots of people shared stories, sometimes it was only one or two. There were even times when no one wanted to talk and the facilitator was left to tell their own personal story or other accounts. There was always routine, often tears, but Carol couldn't remember a time she didn't leave a meeting feeling refreshed. There was something special about being surrounded by people, often strangers, who understood each other and appreciated the struggle and the strength it took to admit they needed help.

"I ain't gotta talk right?" Daryl whispered, after several newcomers had already spoken. They were given an opportunity to make introductions at the start and he looked rather anxious.

Carol shook her head, "Not if you don't want to. It's encouraged to share your story, your feelings… but when you're ready."

"Hmm," he muttered. Carol bit her lip to keep from giggling as she just happened to see him attempt to cross his arms, forgetting that one wrist was attached to the arm of the wheelchair. The clang it made echoed in the room and drew several looks which made Daryl turn beet red. He embarrasses pretty easy, Carol thought. She knew it was gonna take a lot of time and patience before he would speak at a meeting. But if he would talk one on one even, that would be huge.

The meeting was close to an hour before it was over. Carol had been emotionally moved by one young mother's story of her child with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She was pretty sure she caught Daryl tearing up as well. It surprised her, though when she actually gave it some thought she realized it shouldn't have. Carol was pretty sure that the gruff looking man sitting beside her was a huge softie on the inside. Her instincts were usually spot on.

People slowly started to disperse, while others hung around and chatted in little groups. There were refreshments available and some were gathered around eating. "Can I grab anything for you?" Carol asked, gesturing towards the snacks. He shook his head to decline.

The meeting facilitator made her way around and thanked people for coming. She seemed to easily sense Daryl's reluctance to be there and to participate so she was very quick and then left them alone.

"I ain't feeling so good," Daryl muttered. Carol looked over and noticed his hands were shaking. He rubbed his head with his free hand. "Maybe I should get back to my room," he said softly. Carol was pretty sure he was reluctant and she guessed that he really didn't want to be alone again.

"It's gonna get worse," she said, sympathetically. "The withdrawal. It can be really bad." Carol would never forget how hard it had been to survive those first few days of sobriety. Fortunately for her, like Daryl, she'd been in the hospital. It wasn't just nausea and tremors, but splitting headaches, insomnia, nightmares when she was able to sleep, and she'd even taken a minor seizure and a few hallucinations which she was told was common with people in her situation. "I don't want to scare you, but you should be prepared… you're gonna feel like shit."

"You're a real motivational speaker for sobriety ain't ya?" he snapped.

Carol didn't let his tone get to her, instead she laughed. "It's worth it in the end, trust me." She thought of something and told Daryl she would be right back. For some it made a difference, for others it didn't… but it was worth a try. "Hey, can I get a 24 hour coin for him?" She asked the facilitator. A few minutes later she returned to Daryl with a coin. "You should have this," she said, handing it to him. "It was always a source of strength for me, maybe it will be for you too."

He took it and she watched him read the front and then flip it over. On the back was the serenity prayer that they had all said out loud at the end of the meeting. "Thanks," he replied, still staring at the coin. They were both silent for a moment before he spoke. "So uh… say I do get the deal and I agree to try this thing… they were talking about a sponsor… how do I find one of those?"

Several of the speakers had talked about their sponsors and how they had helped them survive so the facilitator took some time to discuss the importance of having support and how having a sponsor could really make a difference in someone's success. Carol knew there were times she would have drank for sure if she didn't have her own sponsor to call for help. "Well, there are no real rules about how to get, or choose your sponsor," she explained. "Anyone can do it, as long as they are willing to make the commitment to you and your healing."

"Can you do it?" he asked, looking up at her. Even though it was clear he was leading up to asking her, it was still a shock to hear him say the words. His face looked so innocent and child like. She couldn't have turned him down even if she wanted to. But she'd never been a sponsor before and she was instantly nervous. There was something about this man that made her want to help him though, so Carol was very happy he'd asked her.

"I would be honored," she replied. And just like that they had a relationship. She was bound to this stranger and his recovery by a simple question and commitment.

"I mean, I might not do it…" Daryl said quickly. "But if I do…"

"Oh no," Carol shook her head, giving him a bright smile. "You have yourself a sponsor now. We're in this together. And in case you couldn't tell… I'm really stubborn." She was pretty sure she caught a tiny smile before she moved around behind his chair. "Come on, let's find your guard and get you back to bed." Like earlier when she'd kissed his forehead Carol was compelled to make some sort of physical contact and he flinched again when she did. She reached out and put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "We can do this," she whispered, emphasizing _we_ to remind him that he wasn't alone.


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh good morning," a nurse said to Daryl, wincing when she looked at him.

"Do I look that bad?" he croaked, knowing the answer without her answering. It had been an absolutely brutal night, worse than any bender hangover he'd ever had in his life. The withdrawal was bad. Excruciating at times. Carol had been right.

The nurse just smiled at him. "How's the nausea? Can I give you something for it?" she asked. He'd been given a shot of dramamine in the middle of the night that seemed to help so he nodded. They had also put an IV in to make sure he didn't get dehydrated so she put the medicine in through the IV. "If you want to try eating let me know. I'll have something sent in for you." Daryl shook his head. Food was the last thing on his mind. "Okay," she replied, starting to walk away. She stopped and fished something out of her pocket. "The night nurse gave me this… someone left it for you," she handed him a note and then left.

Daryl saw his name on the front of the folded piece of paper. He opened it slowly and with a pounding head he started to read:

 _Morning Sunshine,_

 _I truly hope last night wasn't as bad as I expect it might have been. I know there's only one thing you want right now and I know how bad the craving is and will be for the next few days. It gets better. I promise. You'll get through this._

 _I realized after you left the meeting that I'm a terrible sponsor, I didn't even give you my cell number. It's 407-555-2388. Call me anytime, day or night. I'm here for you._

 _Talk soon,  
Carol_

 _PS - let me know what your lawyer finds out about the deal._

 _PSS - I'm off tomorrow, so if you want company just shoot me a text._

Morning Sunshine? Daryl thought with a smile. She called me Sunshine. His grin widened before he finally got a grip and chastised himself for acting like a teenager. He read the letter one more time, because it felt good to hear her words in his head, then he folded it up and put it in the nightstand drawer with his cell and wallet. His lawyer would be around sometime late in the afternoon and depending on how he was doing they could send him to jail to wait for his hearing or he might stay there and be transported from the hospital.

If he was feeling better Daryl would have faked how bad he was to avoid being carted off to the slammer. He didn't have bail money and he was pretty sure neither Merle or his dad would be coming by to get him out. Merle had visited the day before but basically wanted to make sure Daryl was still alive before he went back to his own problems.

Daryl certainly didn't need to fake how bad he was. He struggled to make it to the bathroom without passing out as he gripped the IV pole to keep himself upright. The blackness threatened several times and he regretted not hitting the call button for help. He hated asking for help, but Daryl was starting to realize he was going to have to learn how pretty quickly if he actually wanted to get sober. "What I really want is a fucking drink," he muttered to his reflection in the mirror. There was anger boiling inside him, from the intense desire and need to consume alcohol. Beer, whiskey, rum, vodka, shine… anything, he'd be happy with a glass of fucking red wine or a straight shot of peach schnapps.

Daryl splashed water on his face, several times, and then checked his reflection again. He really did look like shit. Bloodshot eyes, dark circles, hair disheveled, too much scruff on his face… Not that he'd ever cared much about his appearance, but this was beyond awful. He took a deep breath and reached for his toothbrush. Then as he brushed he pondered if he wanted company? He didn't really want anyone to see him in such a sad state, but Carol had already seen him the day before… and she knew, she understood what he was going through.

Truth was… he wanted to see her again. She made him feel like he wasn't a complete screw up. She made him believe that everything was going to turn out alright. And she actually fucking made him want to get sober - to make her proud if nothing else. He barely knew this woman but he already knew he didn't want to disappoint her.

Daryl finished brushing his teeth and put on some of the deodorant someone had left for him. They must have had supplies for trainwrecks like him with no one to bring him stuff from home. He really wanted a shower but he was way too dizzy and was still hooked up to the IV pole. Daryl stripped off the hospital gowns, washed up a bit and put on clean ones. By the time he shuffled back out to his bed he felt slightly better just to be clean. Not that it lasted long because 20 minutes after he was back in bed the sweating and shaking started again.

But in those 20 minutes he found the nerve to text Carol and ask if she would come visit. She replied right away, as if she'd been expecting the text, and said she would be there in less than half an hour. Daryl closed his eyes and prayed his body would stop twitching before she arrived. Too late. "Oh you poor thing," he heard. By the time he opened his eyes she had disappeared.

But seconds later she emerged from the bathroom with a wet washcloth. Before Daryl could even mutter hello she was wiping his face and forehead. "It wasn't this bad when I texted," he groaned. "I wouldn't have made you see me like this…"

"Shhh," she interrupted. "I see it all the time. And you know, I've been there. I understand. It's okay. It means you're getting better." Carol smiled at him and he could have swore looking at her smiling face made everything hurt a little less.

"What's it like outside?" he asked, hoping she would understand that he needed a distraction.

"It's awful," Carol replied, giving him a look. "It's dreary and windy, with this cold, driving rain."

"You're lying," Daryl muttered. He could see the sunshine coming through the blinds, even though they were closed.

"I totally am," she giggled. Her laugh was melodious and it caught him off guard. It was a beautiful sound and he wanted to hear it again. What could he say? He wasn't funny, but he wished so badly he could find something that would allow him to hear that sweet little giggle again. "But wouldn't you rather hear that it's awful outside when you're stuck in this room anyway?"

"I'd rather hear you've got a mickey in that massive purse of yours," he sighed. "The hell do you fill that thing with anyway?"

Carol giggled again. Just a tiny little laugh. Huh, somehow he'd done it without even trying. "A woman never reveals her secrets," she teased. Or was it a flirt? He wondered. Oh come on asshole, as if a gorgeous woman like her would be flirting with a half dead alcoholic that's about to barf… Oh god…

"I'm gonna barf," he said, looking around in panic. Carol was quick and somehow she had a basin in front of him in the nick of time. Daryl heaved so hard his eyes were watering. His throat and nose were burning. "You should go," he muttered, wondering what the point of the dramamine shot had been if he was just puking anyway.

"This doesn't bother me," he heard her say. Then Daryl felt a cool cloth on the back of his neck. "I clean up vomit at least twice a week a work," Carol said, as he finally lifted his head. "Feeling better?" She took the basin away to the bathroom. Who the hell was this woman? He'd never had anyone take care of him before he ended up in the hospital with the nurses. But that was their job. Carol didn't have to do this, yet she didn't seem to mind.

When she came back she sat on the edge of his bed and looked at him for a moment. Then she reached out and touched his hair, stroking his head gently. "I'm so sorry you're going through this," she said softly. "I know right now it doesn't seem like it, but I promise you it's worth it." Carol looked in his eyes and Daryl believed her. She was touching him. Physical contact - again. He didn't let people touch him - ever. And here she was, stroking his hair. His dirty, sweaty hair. He was a gross, shaky, disaster, and she was still there.

As much as he tried to hold it back, he couldn't. With the first sob she stood up and pulled his head to her chest. "It's okay," she whispered soothingly. "It's okay." Then the floodgates opened and he just let it all out. And still - she stayed.


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm sorry, I didn't have anyone else to pick me up." Daryl was already already apologizing as he got into Carol's car. "Merle ain't answering his phone and ain't got no cash for a cab." He felt like an idiot having to call her for a ride, but it was either that or he walked 10 miles home at night.

The proceedings had taken all afternoon, but his lawyer was able to get him the deal and he'd completely avoided jail. At least he had good news to tell her when he called for a ride. It had been two days since he'd last seen her. Daryl had broke down and cried in her arms. He hadn't told her anything about what had induced the waterworks and she hadn't asked. Carol was very good at respecting his privacy and she offered to listen if he ever needed to talk. Afterwards he was very surprised by the fact that he didn't feel awkward.

But the next day when she offered to come by after work he declined. It wasn't to do with being embarrassed about crying in front of her, but because he was still feeling like shit and he just wanted to sleep. That morning she had to work and by the time she was off they had taken him from the hospital to meet with the lawyers, then judge to discuss his future.

"I'm glad you called me," Carol replied brightly. "Now tell me all about the deal while I drive. Peachtree City, right?" Daryl nodded and she headed out of the parking lot.

"80 hours of community service," he started. Carol nodded, they both expected that. "I have to fully commit to the AA program - give proof of attendance for at least 3 meetings per week. They will do random blood tests and if I have alcohol or drugs in my system more than 3 times in the next 6 months they will revert back to the original sentence."

"It's not gonna be easy," she replied. "But I believe in you. And I'll be there to help you." Carol reached over and found his hand and give it a squeeze. "I fell off the wagon twice in the first 3 months. But you just pick yourself up, talk to your sponsor - get to a meeting as soon as possible and you start over."

Daryl was surprised to hear her admit she'd had two setbacks. He wasn't sure if that made him nervous or gave him hope. If someone as strong as Carol could fall off the wagon twice in 3 months how would he make it 6 months? But at the same time… it reminded him of just how hard he was going to have to work to survive and keep his ass out of jail.

"Did you eat? Do you want me to hit a drive thru on the way?" she asked.

"Nah thanks," Daryl said. "I ain't up to eating much yet." He felt a lot better than the day before, clearly well enough for the hospital to discharge him to attend his hearing. But the idea of eating made his stomach churn.

"Okay, but you gotta start eating soon, promise?" Carol pushed. "Maybe make yourself some chicken soup when you get home." Daryl highly doubted they had chicken soup in his house, but he nodded because she wasn't going to take no for an answer, he knew her well enough to know that.

When they got close to his place he realized why Merle hadn't been answering the phone. "Fuck," Daryl muttered. His driveway was filled with cars and motorcycles and they spilled out and halfway down the block. Clearly Merle was having one hell of a party.

"That's your place having the party isn't it?" Carol asked, stopping the car in the middle of the street.

"I guess my brother invited over a few friends," Daryl sighed. "I can't go in there…" he mumbled. The second he walked through the door someone would put a drink in his hand. There would be drugs and booze everywhere.

"No you most certainly can't," Carol replied sternly. She put the car in park right there in the middle of the street. "I'm so sorry Daryl," she said sadly. She knew how much he was looking forward to going home and getting into his own bed.

"I guess it's a cheap motel," he sighed, hoping his Visa wouldn't be declined. "There's one a couple miles East," Daryl said. He really hadn't thought it through when he was wanting to get home so badly. There was always going to be alcohol and drunk junkies around as long as he lived with Merle. The temptation was going to surround him and eat him alive.

Carol hesitated. "You got enough cash for that?"

"I'll figure it out," he mumbled. There was bound to be one of Merle's junkie buddies hanging around the hotel that he could borrow some cash from.

"Hmm… well if you promise you won't steal my new TV during the night and sell it on Craig's List I know somewhere you can stay for free," Carol said, looking at him.

"I don't want to put you out," Daryl protested. "And I ain't got a clue what Craig's List is."

"Oh please," she rolled her eyes. "I live alone and I have a perfectly comfy couch you can sleep on." Carol laughed, "And how have you never heard of Craig's List? You can sell anything there - like I mean literally anything."

Carol was already doing a three point turn to head back the other direction so Daryl gave up. "Thank you… I'll figure shit out in the morning." He was feeling really hopeless about the whole situation by that point.

"You can't live there anymore, can you? That's what's got you so down," Carol said gently. Daryl didn't have to answer, they both knew. She was quiet for a moment and then spoke again. "Listen, I have an idea to suggest in the morning." She pulled into the drive of a little bungalow. They really didn't live that far apart, maybe 3 to 4 miles tops. "But tonight I think you should just relax, get some rest and stop worrying so much. Today was a good day Daryl, a really good day. And you've been sober almost 5 days now. That's amazing." She smiled at him and patted his knee. "Come on, I'm gonna make you soup and then you can shower and I'll tuck you in."

"Do I smell that bad?" he asked as they climbed out.

Carol laughed and he could feel that warmth inside his chest that he felt every time she did. "You smell like a hospital. Way too antiseptic for my taste."

Daryl chuckled, "Fair enough." He followed Carol inside, wondering why the thought of her tucking him in was so appealing. The shower felt amazing and the soup was delicious, even if he was hesitant to eat it at first. But the best part was when she laid a blanket over him, kissed his forehead and wished him sweet dreams. As he watched her walk away Daryl allowed himself to believe, just for a moment, that everything truly was going to be just fine.


	5. Chapter 5

Carol woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. When she was finished she decided to take a peek at Daryl and make sure he was okay. She walked into the livingroom to find him pacing. "Oh fuck, I didn't wake you up did I?"

"Oh no, I had to pee," Carol replied. "What's going on? Have you slept at all?"

Daryl shook his head. "I tried. And then I looked through every cupboard in your kitchen just to prove to myself that you don't have any booze," he admitted with a blush. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she replied, taking a seat in her recliner. Carol really hadn't paid much attention to the fact she had wandered out there in her nightie because she wasn't expecting him to be awake. But now that she found he was awake Carol was well aware of the fact she was basically naked, other than the thin cotton and spaghetti straps. She crossed her arms over her chest, trying not to draw attention to herself. "Tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing… I just…" he sighed. "I just want a drink so bad." Daryl sunk down onto the couch. "My mind is so messed up right now… I can't stay at Merle's, I ain't got enough money to find my own place… I got nowhere to go… I'm gonna blow this deal and end up in the slammer… and all this crap just makes me want to drink so it will all go away."

"Oh sweetie," she replied, moving to sit beside him on the couch. "It's going to be okay. Listen, I was going to talk to you about this in the morning, but maybe it will help ease your mind enough that you can sleep." Daryl looked intrigued and slightly hopeful. "Come with me for a minute," she said. Carol let him to the back door, trying to ignore the fact that she knew, as long as he was a heterosexual male, that he was checking out her ass. She flipped on the back light and pointed. "See that?"

Daryl peeked out the door. "A trailer?"

"Mmm hmm," she nodded. "Actually it's a motorhome. It was my uncle's and he passed about 6 months ago. I haven't been in it at all, it's just been sitting there. Less than a year old. I haven't been able to bring myself to sell it."

"I can't afford to buy it," Daryl replied, looking at her strangely.

Carol laughed. "That's not what I meant." She turned off the light and led him back to the couch. "You can live there… if you want." He looked shocked. "I can hook up the water and electric to the house… I think… and you'll have everything you need in there."

"I… uh… I don't know what to say…" Daryl muttered. He looked up at her and asked shyly, "Why are you doing this? You don't even know me. I don't understand…"

"I told you, I know what it's like to be where you are and I didn't get when I am without help," she said soothingly. It was the truth. She saw so much of herself in Daryl and with everything she'd been through she was sure she could help him. It was almost a need for her, like a way to bring things full circle.

"Yeah, but… I ain't worth your trouble. I'll just disappoint ya," he mumbled sadly.

Carol looked at him, really looked at him. He was very handsome, that was obvious, but when she looked a little deeper there was something else that was obvious - he was damaged - so deeply scarred. She was quite certain that he hid it well from most people, but when you've been there yourself it's really easy to spot. "Someone hurt you," Carol said softly. She couldn't help but reach out and move a piece of hair from in front of his eyes, causing Daryl to look up at her with a little bit of fear. Clearly no one had seen through him before like she had. "It's okay, it's okay," she soothed him. "Let me help you Daryl, please? Let me prove you're worth it - to you, because I already know you are."

She could see the tears welling up in his eyes. Carol thought it was very sweet that he was such a sensitive guy. But this time it was likely a bit of exhaustion mixed in. She also knew him well enough to know that it was going to bother him to cry in front of her again so soon, so she quickly moved on. "Listen, if you want I can go get dressed and we can find a 24 hour diner, eat an early breakfast and then hit one of the super early morning meeting in the city… or you can lay down on the couch, I'll tuck you in again and stay right here until you fall asleep."

"Ain't you gotta work in the morning?" he looked at her with concern.

"I'm on afternoons tomorrow, we can sleep in until noon," Carol replied with a reassuring smile. He gave her a little look that was so childlike and uncertain that it made her heart ache. Then finally he started to lay down. She stood up to make room and then as promised she pulled the blanket over him. "I'll stay close until you're asleep, and if you need anything I'll be just down the hall." Instead of moving away to sit in the reclined Carol dropped to her knees beside the couch. "Close your eyes," she said softly. When he did she reached out and started to stroke his hair lightly. He opened his eyes and looked at her for a second, but slowly they started to close.

"I'm sorry about your uncle," he mumbled sleepily. "And… thank you…" He barely got the words out.

It was almost amusing how quickly he fell asleep. She stroked his hair a little longer and then rose to her feel. Carol touched his cheek and he stirred slightly. "Sweet dreams," she whispered, before heading back to her own bed.

Carol lay down and thought about what was happening. If she told any of her friends they would have thought she was crazy, inviting a stranger into her house, allowing him to sleep on her couch, and offering for him to live in her backyard for the foreseeable future. There would be no possible way she could explain it to anyone, the way she felt drawn to this man, the way she needed to take care of him, the way she felt an immediate connection. It just felt right to help him, like she was meant to find him in that hospital bed, like their paths were meant to cross.

Carol knew she could help him. She was confident she could get him through the cravings and the withdrawals. She would make sure he attended meetings regularly because she would go with him. Even all these years and countless meetings later it always felt refreshing to attend one. He seemed very scared of going to jail and Carol was sure that would be a huge motivator for him. But she also knew he didn't seem to have much support from his family and friends. Carol understood that. It was hard for others to understand when she was on her path to sobriety that she just couldn't be around alcohol, at all, and she had lost many of the few friends she had because she had to isolate herself to avoid temptation. Eventually she was able to overcome the urges that controlled her life for so long. She could be around others who were drinking and no longer had to fight to not join them. But that had taken many years, many setbacks and strength she didn't know she had. Could her faith in Daryl be enough to help him find that same strength? She was quite sure it could. If need be, she would be strong for him when he felt weak - that was what being a good sponsor was all about.

There was really only one major problem that Carol could think of. To help Daryl meant they would be spending a lot of time together with her being his sponsor, going to his mandatory meetings, and even just living so closely in proximity. But the real issue was - would she be able to make it through all that… without falling for him? The fact that she was even worried it might be a problem was proof enough that the likelihood was high. It all led back to that connection she felt with him, like they were two wounded souls who were lucky to find one another. Carol thought she was all healed but deep down she knew there were still so many scars. Maybe she didn't just find him - maybe Daryl was meant to find her too, to finally heal a part of her that she had buried so long ago.


	6. Chapter 6

14 days sober. 12 meetings. 2 random pee tests. And 7 days living in a motorhome. Daryl was lying in bed counting things in his head. Some nights when he made these mental counts they felt like nothing, like he still had so far to go. Other nights, usually after a meeting, he felt a lot more inspired, proud of his accomplishments and confident he would be able to maintain his success. That was one of those nights. In his hand he held a new coin from the meeting he and Carol had just attended.

Two weeks sober. Daryl couldn't remember the last time he'd gone two weeks without booze. Even as a kid, 10, 11 years old, he'd been stealing a beer from Merle or his dad, sneaking a sip or two of whiskey. It had been harmless then, just a curious boy. But the point he'd got to before his sobriety… that was rock bottom. That wasn't harmless drinking - it was complete and total alcohol dependence - and it nearly killed him.

Daryl flipped the coin over and read the serenity prayer on the back. He was getting pretty good at accepting the things he couldn't change, though he was learning that there were very few things in life that truly couldn't be changed. Carol was showing him that, a little more each day. It started with the simple fact that she believed in him. Daryl never thought he would find a person who truly put faith in his abilities, but she did. She believed in him and she trusted him. Even in his weakest moments, like just the night before, when he wanted to steal her car and drive to the nearest bar and drink until he was shit faced, she didn't waver, but tossed him the keys.

"If you go, I go," she said, looking at him with those damn crystal blue eyes. She knew. She knew he wouldn't go.

Even when he said, "Let's go then." And she followed him to the car. She sat there the whole drive with a smug smile because she already knew he wasn't going to the bar. For the first time he was taking her to a meeting - not the other way around. For the first time he accepted that he needed to attend and receive the comfort and wisdom of being around people who understood him.

Daryl had yet to speak at a meeting, other than to share his name and how long he'd been sober. As cheesy as he thought it was at first, there was some special about being welcomed by the group as they offered their support of his journey. But if he was being honest, what he loved most was the smile of pride on Carol's face the first time he actually partook in the ceremony of the meeting.

Even though he wasn't a spiritual man Daryl couldn't help but wonder if she was an angel, sent to him from above. It was like she fell from the sky, into his life, just when he needed her the most. She certainly looked like an angel. He stretched out in bed on his back and pictured her face. He sometimes couldn't think of exactly what she looked like because he got so lost in her eyes. Once he looked into the blue it was like he fell right in and couldn't get out - not that he wanted to anyway.

Daryl felt his heart start to beat just a little faster and a stirring begin in his loins. He slowly reached a hand down and rubbed his dick through the boxers he was wearing to sleep. It wouldn't be the first time he'd laid there and jerked off thinking about her. He often thought about seeing her in the little nightie she had on the night he slept on her couch. The outline of her breasts, the little bumps of her nipples, the perfect curve of her slim waist to her hips and round ass. Just picturing her like that had him hard in seconds.

He wondered if he would ever have noticed Carol in passing. Would they ever have talked or even met if he hadn't ended up in the hospital that night? She certainly wasn't the kind of woman he'd been with in the past. She was… well… classy. The girls he took home were usually just as drunk as he'd been and looking for nothing more than a good fuck. He barely remembered their names when he kicked them out the next morning, and other than a select few, most took off embarrassed, never to be heard from again.

But now he was clean and sober. He saw the world differently and he realized what a treasure he had in his life. Daryl knew he was falling for her, hard. She was his saviour and he was drawn to her because of that, but it was more. Everything about her made him want to be a better man. Which was why he would go out every day, drop off the resumes she'd helped him make, and pray he would get a call. His prayers had been answered that morning and in two days he had an interview. It wasn't a glamorous job by any means, but it would mean he could start saving money to find his own place, and in the meantime he could pay Carol some rent and help with groceries. He just had to get the job first.

Daryl slipped a hand inside his boxer and grabbed his shaft. Sometimes he felt guilty masturbating while thinking about Carol. She'd never gave him any indication that she felt that way about him. He was in friend zone and even though it sucked, he would take it, just to get to be around her. He closed his eyes and started to stroke himself slowly. He was just about to wiggle out of the boxers when there was a rap on the door. Daryl froze momentarily in shock and then scrambled for his pants. "Uh, be right there," he called out.

He looked down and adjusted himself. "Fuck," he whispered, trying again to make his erection look far less obvious, with very little success. Daryl hoped his panic would help him go limp quickly as he walked to the door. "What's up?" he asked, pushing open the door, trying to stay somewhat in the dark.

"I'm sorry," Carol started. "I know you were probably in bed… but I uh… I couldn't sleep and when I can't sleep I bake…" She gave him a little smile. "I made cookies and they're so good when they're still warm, so, um… I wondered if you wanted to come in and try them?"

Cookies. Damn her and her cookies. He loved her cooking and there was no way he could resist warm cookies, right from the oven. "I'd love to," he replied immediately. Her smile widened and it made him happy to know she was pleased. She turned and he followed, looking at the ground because at that point he certainly couldn't check out her ass.

Somehow he managed to make it to the table and sat before she turned around. Daryl was relieved, which allowed him to be even more excited about the cookies. As expected they were amazing and he ate 4 of them in quick succession. Carol sat with him and ate one. "I'll put them in a container and leave them on the counter… in case you want some tomorrow while I'm at work." She had given him a key so he could use her kitchen while she was at work. Daryl had been surprised. He'd assumed the motorhome was to get him out of her house, yet she'd trusted him with a key.

"They might be gone," he mumbled, still chewing the 4th cookie.

"Wouldn't expect anything less," she teased. She often teased him about how much he ate. But she knew he hadn't had anyone cook for him his whole life and she also had to know she was a really good cook.

When Daryl was finished eating he stood up to excuse himself, "I guess I should get back to bed now." He had come into the house wearing just his pants, no shirt and barefoot. He hadn't noticed until right then that Carol was looking at his body. Daryl felt his cheeks flush. He worked hard to keep himself fit, hader lately that he'd been eating her cooking.

"Uh, yeah… me too," Carol replied, standing too. She followed him to the back door, likely to lock it. Daryl went to reach for the knob, but something made him turn. When he did Carol was right there and he was in a position that had her blocked against the wall. They were close and he could see down the front of her shirt. He tried not to look, but he couldn't resist taking a peek at her perfect little tits. He had finally got his boner under control and one little glimpse had him back to square one.

They were both froze in place and Daryl slowly lifted his eyes to meet hers. She knew he'd just checked out her tits and there was a little sparkle in her eyes. Was that approval? His knees felt weak and Daryl put a hand on the wall beside her head to steady himself. He wanted to kiss her - so badly. But did she want him to? Did he actually have the guts to try? The last thing he wanted was to ruin what they had. He was so dependant on her and he knew if he messed it up he would be right back to the dark place he was finally crawling out of.

He was struggling to breathe, sharing her air. She was intoxicating and Daryl realized he wanted her more than anything - even more than booze. He wanted to taste her and savour her sweetness. "Daryl?" she whispered.

The sound of her voice sent tingles through his body. "Mmm hmm?" he replied, not moving, but letting his eyes drop to her lips.

"We… uh… we probably shouldn't," she said softly. But her actions were completely different than her words. She touched his chest and then slid her hand up to collar bone and traced along it with a fingertip. Daryl felt his body tremble and she did too. "It's okay," she breathed, looking up at him. "I promise I won't hurt you."

Wait, was that permission? Or something different? Something more? He didn't know… but he couldn't wait any longer and risk her changing her mind. He closed the tiny gap between them, pressed his hips into hers, pinning her against the wall. Then slowly he lowered his lips until they were almost touching hers. And then… he waited. It had to be her choice. The ball was in her court and whatever her decision was Daryl would respect it. 


	7. Chapter 7

"We… really… shouldn't," Carol sighed as she touched her lips to his. It wasn't that she didn't want to, she did… she really, really did. But she was his sponsor. They had a relationship of a different kind already, one that shouldn't be messed with.

As soon as she made contact with his mouth there was no turning back, not for either one of them. Everything felt so good. The kiss, the way he tasted, the way his tongue dipped into her mouth in this shy, innocent way yet it felt nothing close to innocent. Daryl knew how to kiss, that was clear. Even though it was passionate and sexy, there was still a sweetness about the way he kissed her so slowly and tenderly. It was almost seductive, which was so far from the way she imagined Daryl would be.

Yes, she had imagined what it would be like to kiss him. She told herself it would never happen, so it was okay to think about it. He was a very good looking man and he held a special place in her life even though they had just met, plus, she hadn't been with a man in a long time, other than a few crappy dates here and there. It was perfectly natural that she would be curious about this new man who was suddenly a big part of her world. Yet - she had been so sure she would never find out.

Now here they were in her hallway - she was wearing nothing but a thin layer of silk, a tank top and shorts, and he only had on a pair of pants. Carol knew he'd looked down her shirt earlier and it made her feel good to be noticed in a sexual way. She hadn't expected it to go beyond that. Daryl wasn't just noticing her anymore, he was experiencing and exploring her. She groaned as he placed his hand flat on the outside of her thigh and drew it up the side of her body, lifting her shirt some as he did.

Carol wanted his hands on her breasts, so badly it felt like her body was screaming for it. His one hand was so close… and then it was gone, back down to her hips where he was resting both hands lightly. She reached up and twisted her arms around his neck, putting her focus back into the kiss. But as she did she felt something brush her belly and she almost gasped. He was hard as a rock. The newfound knowledge made her feel hot, inside and out. There was a tightening at her core, followed by a throb between her legs.

That's when the craving began. The desire for more than just a kiss. The need to be completely satisfied. There was only ever one thing in her life she craved in the same way - booze. Alcohol and sex were two things that her body wanted, with every fibre of her being. She had spent a decade learning how to deal with the intense desire to drink, but since then she honestly hadn't had to worry about this other vice.

The battle started to rage in her mind. She was quite certain Daryl was willing and she knew he was definitely ready. But she also knew it wasn't the right time - for either of them. There was a pretty good chance Daryl was just exchanging one craving for another, and while she suspected there were feelings there as well… he just wasn't in the right frame of mind to sort it all out. Then there was the part of her that was desperately trying to convince her that it was just sex between two adults - purely physical. But again, she knew that a man in Daryl's situation would not be able to separate the physical and the emotional. Her heart felt like it was being twisted. The other problem was how fragile he was right then. If she pushed him away he might take it as a rejection and that kind of hurt was not good, especially when it was coming from the person he relied on to keep him away from the bottle. That was exactly why they never should have started, Carol decided. She couldn't help him if she hurt him.

How could she stop him, when she didn't really want to first of all, and without upsetting him? Carol decided to enjoy the make out session a little longer while she figured something out. She splayed her hands over his muscular back and pulled him closer. And she let him grab her legs and lift her off her feet, bracing her back against the wall. She made it very clear how much she wanted him and how much she was enjoying the entire experience.

She whimpered when he moved to her neck and she felt his tongue tasting her skin. And she just about lost all control when he started to lightly grind against her. "Oh God," she gasped, feeling his erection rubbing between her legs. If she let him keep going… just a little longer… she would… No, she couldn't. It wasn't fair. She had to stop it. "Daryl?" she said softly, taking his face in her hands. "I want you so bad…" He needed to know that for sure. "But, can we take this slower? For you… no, for both of us?"

His eyes were wild with desire, almost enough to make her say fuck it and just take him to bed. As her words sunk in he started to lower her to the ground. "Sorry," he whispered.

"No, no…" Carol forced him to look at her. "Don't say sorry. Not for that. I wanted it. There's nothing to be sorry about." She let her hand fall to his chest and placed it over his heart. "I promised I won't hurt you, but for me to keep that promise we can't do this tonight." She searched his eyes for understanding. "I can't be your lover and your sponsor… I mean, I shouldn't…" There was really nothing saying she couldn't do it. But it was risky and this wasn't the time in his life to be taking risks. "But if we take it slow… really slow… it could work." She lightly stroked his chest. "Do you understand? Please tell me you understand," she begged.

He nodded and the relief she felt was almost overwhelming. "I don't deserve you," Daryl whispered, touching her hair and giving her the most painfully sweet look she'd ever seen.

"You do," Carol said with a nod. "And one day I'll make you believe that." He didn't believe it, not then, she could see it in his eyes. He also didn't believe she could ever change his mind, but she would, someday, somehow. She stood on her tiptoes and placed her forehead against his. "I should sleep," Carol whispered.

"You should," he agreed. But neither moved for a long time. It was such an intimate moment she couldn't bear to break contact. "I'll be fine tomorrow, promise," Daryl said. That's when she finally drew back. How had he known she was worrying about him? "You ain't gotta worry. I'm gonna be okay. I have…" he blushed as his voice trailed off.

"You have what?" Carol asked as he started to back away towards the door. "Daryl?" she pushed him with a curious smile. "What were you going to say?"

He smiled back and ducked out the door without answering her. Then he poked his head back inside. "I have a reason to stay sober," he said softly. "Thank you."

Carol wanted to melt into a pile of goo on the floor as soon as he was gone. She somehow made it to her room and flopped into bed. She hadn't asked for this. She hadn't expected it. But dammit, she really, really wanted it.


	8. Chapter 8

When Daryl woke the next morning he headed straight for the little shower in the motorhome. Carol had told him he was welcome to use the shower in the house if he wanted, but so far he hadn't taken her up on that offer. The shower he had was good enough for the time being, especially since the water never got beyond lukewarm. A good cold shower in the morning was what he needed to wake up and face the day. It was also what he needed to keep his damn hormones in check, since he couldn't stop thinking about the night before.

Kissing Carol had felt better than anything he could think of doing with anyone else. It was hard to imagine actually fucking her because he was scared to think about how incredible it would feel. He had worried deeply that she was going to reject him either during or after the kiss. He'd waited for it, expected it even. But it never came. Instead she made it clear that she was interested, but worried about how it would affect their relationship with her as his sponsor. He'd never thought of that aspect and admired how smart and intuitive she was.

Daryl knew that he really shouldn't be using his feelings for her as motivation to stay sober. It was dangerous because if things didn't work out between them for whatever reason… his motivation was gone - would he be able to keep himself from drinking then? But he couldn't help clinging to the one thing be believed would keep his head above water when he was so desperate to drown himself in booze. It was so hard to deal with the cravings, but every time he wanted a drink he pictured her face and it gave him what he needed to get through the moment of weakness.

When he was out dropping off resumes he passed so many places he used to hang out. Seedy little bars, pool halls, pubs… They were places he could never go again because they were nothing more than watering holes. The people he knew from those places… they weren't friends, they were drinking buddies - it was all about the beer and whiskey. Yet walking by, passing by, seeing the reminders of a life he had to put behind him was still hard, even if it hadn't been a life he enjoyed. The reason he went to those places to begin with was to escape and forget. They were a refuge in times of need and even if it wasn't the right kind of escape - it was still something that brought him comfort.

Now though, he had a new kind of comfort that he would have to get used to. Just like going to a bar and drinking used to help him forget - now he would go to meetings to help him remember. It was a completely different type of existence and mindset and Daryl knew it would take a long time to get used to. But for the first time ever he could see a glimpse of something good, a life he could be proud to live, and it was exciting. If only the fucking cravings would go away. From what he'd learned at meetings they never did go away completely, that's what it was like to be an alcoholic, but they got easier to deal with - that's where he needed to get to.

Carol was working the day shift, so by the time he emerged from the motorhome and went into her house it was almost 11am and her day would be half over. She mentioned that she had a dentist appointment and would be home around 5pm. As he made himself some toast for breakfast, eating several cookies while the bread was in the toaster, Daryl came up with an idea.

It would involve finding Merle because he needed some cash first, but Daryl knew if he focussed on the plan in mind he could do it. Besides, he really wanted his bike from the house, especially if he was lucky enough to get the job as he would need transportation every day.

Daryl finished up eating, locked the house again and headed out. It wasn't all that far from Carol's house to Merle's, where he used to live, but it would be a long walk. Walking gave him time to think, which could be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on his mood. He had a little credit left on his prepaid cell so he sent Merle a text to see if he was home.

 _Working until 4_ , came the quick reply. Daryl wondered if Merle had even noticed he hadn't been home in over two weeks. There were times their paths didn't cross for several weeks at a time, so chances were Merle really had no clue Daryl had essentially moved out and wouldn't be back. Somehow he'd managed to get by without going back to the house for anything. But he'd lived out in the woods, with nothing but a pack of supplies, for weeks at a time, even up to a full month once - before he had to come back because he'd drank up all the whiskey he'd taken with him. How sad was it that the only thing that brought him home was his alcohol dependency? It wasn't his family. It wasn't a woman he loved or close friends - just booze.

Daryl sent Merle another text - _I need to borrow some cash. I'll pay you back soon._

Clearly Merle was working hard, his response was instant again. _Ha, heard that before. There's $500 in my spot. You can take $200. But you better fucking pay me back this time._

Two hundred would be more than enough for what Daryl was planning. He was pretty sure he actually had close to $100 of his own stashed away in his room, but he decided he would take the $200 from Merle anyway so he had plenty in case something came up. He sent a quick thank you and another promise to pay him back and then Daryl tucked the phone back in his pocket. He decided he would add some credit to the phone as well, so the extra cash would come in handy.

As Daryl walked he wondered if he should have told Merle he wouldn't be coming back, but he decided it would be better to at least have a place to go back to if everything went to shit again at some point. Until he got a place of his own he would just wait for Merle to actually notice he wasn't around.

When Daryl got to the house he left himself in and stood just inside the door for a moment. He would need to do this quick, because the first thing he spotted was a half empty bottle of cuervo sitting on the kitchen table. He'd had some good times with Jose and one glance had the old friend calling to him. "No," Daryl said out loud. He quickly ran up the stairs to his room. Of course there were whiskey bottles all over the damn place. But most were empty or very close to being empty. He grabbed the only one that had a substantial amount of liquid in it and headed for the bathroom. Using every ounce of strength he had Daryl opened the cap, swallowed hard trying to ignore the smell, and quickly poured it down the drain. He tossed the empty bottle into the trash so he didn't have to look at it. The first thought that came to his mind was that she would be proud of him. Daryl smiled and pictured her pretty blue eyes, sparkling at him. He could heard her voice, praising his strength.

That little fantasy was all he needed to get through the rest of the time at the house without incident. He got the cash from his room, plus a few clothes and personal items, and the cash from Merle's stash. Then Daryl found the key to his bike amongst the shit on the kitchen counter and he was ready to leave. He fit all his stuff into the saddle bags and climbed on. It had been so long since he'd rode that Daryl couldn't help but take the scenic route to the grocery store. 

He was going to make dinner for Carol and he needed to get all the supplies. There weren't a lot of things he could cook, but the few things he knew how to make he made very well. Lasagna was his specialty, though he typically made it with wild meat from animals he'd hunted himself. Today he would buy ground beef instead.

Daryl wandered through the store, pushing the cart and ticking off the list of supplies in his head. His stomach was grumbling being surrounded by food. He hadn't eaten anything since his late breakfast it was close to 330. He needed to hurry if he was going to have supper ready for Carol when she got home. He decided to grab some things to make a salad to eat first in case the lasagna wasn't ready in time.

Satisfied he had everything he needed, praying it would all be manageable on the bike, he headed towards the checkouts. He turned down the cereal aisle and as he came around the corner he almost ran smack into another cart. "Daryl?"

Shit. Fuck. Noooooo. "Uh, hi," he said with a pout.

"What's going on?" Carol asked, a sweet little smile on her perfect lips.

He sighed. "I was gonna surprise you with dinner. What are you doing here?"

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry…" she started, looking genuinely apologetic. "My dentist appointment got moved to 4:30 so I was just grabbing a few groceries for us to kill time." He felt so defeated. He had really wanted her to come home to a big surprise as a small thank you for everything she'd done for him in the past couple weeks. "Oh Daryl, I'm so sorry… this is so sweet," she gushed, touching his arm.

"It's okay," he shrugged, but he couldn't rid himself of the pout. "Guess it won't be a surprise."

Carol smiled at him, "It might not be exactly what you wanted, but it can still be special. I don't know what you're making. And, well… no one has ever cooked for me before." He looked up and saw her eyes shining.

"Really?" he asked softly.

Carol shook her head, "No one since my mama when I was a kid." She let her hand trail down his arm. "I really am sorry your surprise was ruined, but… If you had any idea how touched and excited I am right now I think you would be okay with it." Her touch sent tingles through his body and her words soothed his wounded ego. She reached up and moved the little piece of hair that liked to fall forwards and then she leaned in and kissed him softly on the cheek. Before she pulled away she whispered in his ear. "I'll see you at home in a couple of hours… I can't wait."

With a lingering look and a beautiful smile she was gone. Daryl looked down at his cart and with a renewed excitement to please her he headed for the cashier. This would be an evening he would never forget and he was determined to make it one she wouldn't forget either.


	9. Chapter 9

When Carol arrived at home close to 6pm she was full of nervous excitement. Daryl was making her dinner. As an adult she had never come home to a nice dinner before, not once. No one had ever cooked for her, she was always the one who made meals. It honestly didn't matter what he was making, she would be happy with him opening a can of Spam. It was the gesture that mattered more than anything else. The fact that he wanted to do it for her. The fact that he'd tried to make it a surprise until their chance meeting at the grocery store. It was painfully sweet and she had to fight off sentimental tears before she even walked into the house.

She only had two bags of groceries and nothing that couldn't wait to be put away, so Carol set them down by the door and headed for the kitchen. Daryl was so focussed on what he was doing that he hadn't noticed she was there. He likely heard her come in the front door, but he had no idea she was watching him. He had on oven mitts and was pulling something out of the oven. It smelled amazing. Lasagna. Carol's eyes lit up, she loved lasagna.

He had also made garlic bread and she saw a bowl of salad on the table. The kitchen table was set for two with candles ready to be lit. Another first for her, a candlelit dinner. It was just starting to get dark outside and the kitchen was starting to dim. Daryl turned to set down the oven mitts and saw her. "Hey," he said with a shy smile. "You're home."

"I'm home," she echoed, walking towards him. "Thank you for this," Carol said, stepping into his personal space to give him a warm hug. Daryl hugged her back and it felt so comforting that she stayed a little longer than necessary. When they parted and she looked around again her eyes filled with tears. "I can't believe you did this.. For me," she got out, her voice filled with emotion.

"Wish I could do more," Daryl replied softly.

"Trust me, this is… so special. You're an amazing guy, I hope you know that." Carol waited for the blush that she knew would come. It did and she smiled. "It smells so yummy."

"Come, sit," Daryl said, holding her chair for her. He was a little bit awkward and she could tell romantic dinners were just as new to him as they were to her, but it was all so sweet and adorable because it wasn't absolutely perfect - and that made it absolutely perfect for her.

Everything about the dinner was lovely. The food was even better than she imagined. Daryl said he's not really much of a cook, but his lasagna was one of the best she'd ever had. Carol was a great cook and she was pretty sure his lasagna was even better than her own. They drank flavoured sparkling water in wine glasses and for dessert he'd bought a fancy cake from the bakery at the store. It was rich with chocolate and absolutely delicious, but she couldn't finish the whole thing after the rest of the meal. "It's so good, but I'm sooooo full," she groaned. Carol laughed when Daryl took the rest of her piece and finished it.

They talked a bit as he cleaned up and put away the leftovers. She tried to help, but he refused, other than to allow her to make coffee when he was almost done. "I guess I'll take this out and let you enjoy your night," he said, starting to leave.

"Hey," Carol protested. She wasn't expecting him to leave just like that, but she realized he was trying to respect her space and her request that they take things slow. "Why don't you stay for a bit? We can maybe find a good movie or something?"

"Are you sure?" he said, hesitantly.

"Of course," she assured him with a smile. Before she led him to the living room she had to make sure he knew, with certainty, how much she appreciated what he'd done for her. "Daryl?" she said softly, setting down her coffee to approach him. "This is by far the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me," Carol said, with complete honesty. "I need you to know that and believe me," she added, looking into his eyes. Then she placed her hands on his chest and gave him a long, tender kiss. She didn't allow it to get too steamy or passionate because there was a good chance she wouldn't have been able to stop him at that point, with the emotion of the moment.

A while later she put her restraint to the test once again. They had been sitting at opposite ends of the couch to watch the movie, but when it was over she got up, moved to his end and sat right beside him. Then she grabbed the remote, turned on something for background noise and lay her head on his chest.

Daryl was stiff at first, but eventually she felt his body start to relax and he put his arm around her shoulder comfortably. Carol could feel his heart pounding against her cheek and she realized her heart was doing the same thing. She knew that the next move was hers. He was always going to leave it up to her. Carol stayed there, as long as she could, listening to his heartbeat, until she couldn't take it any longer.

She shifted, twisting her body around until she was sitting in his lap and then she kissed him again. But this kiss was different. She went right for eager and passionate this time, letting him know that he was welcome to kiss her back - that she wanted him to kiss her back. And he did. Carol sighed, enjoying the feel of their tongues touching as they kissed. Daryl had one hand on her thigh and the other was on her back, supporting her and drawing her closer.

Carol shifted and straddled him instead. Her entire body was aching, but the worst was between her legs. Daryl groaned when she sunk down onto him. God she wanted him, so badly. He touched her ass, pulling her down and Carol knew he was completely aroused. She loved that she turned him on so easily. It made her feel sexy and desired. He slipped his hands under the back of her shirt and the second he touched her skin her entire body tingled with goosebumps. He rubbed her back lightly with his fingertips as he kissed her neck. Carol loved the feel of his tongue on her delicate skin and she stretched to give him better access.

She had to fight the desire to rip off his shirt and instead just slowly undo the buttons. She pulled it open and lightly grazed his chest. Daryl trembled and looked up at her. There was such an innocence in his eyes that it made her freeze for a moment. It was as if no one had ever touched him tenderly before. If that was truly the case she was so happy to be the first to show him how it felt. Carol bent her head and kissed his bare chest before moving to his neck like he had with her. She kept it slow and so gentle, wanting him to know he was worth the time and caution. Eventually she worked up to the passion he'd used with her and she started to grind herself against him, trying to ease the throbbing between her legs.

"Jesus," he muttered, as he moved his hands to her bra clasp. She felt the brazier release and immediate he was touching her tits, rubbing her nipples until they were stiff. Suddenly he stood, lifting her with him, then flopped her onto her back gently. His body was between her legs and he rubbed himself against her a few times, closing his eyes for a moment. His face was so sexy and filled with intense desire, and between that and the way his erection was rubbing her in just the right spot, Carol was sure he was going to make her come.

But he stopped and pushed up her shirt and bra, then quickly took a nipple into his mouth. "Oh God," Carol moaned, grabbing his head and arching into him. It was taking every bit of restraint she had to keep from reaching for the button on his jeans. One of them needed to stop, but Carol didn't want to prevent him from doing things that felt so incredible.

When he released her nipple the cold feeling was instant in contrast to the heat from his mouth. She looked up at him and as much as she wanted to just pull him back down she refrained. Just as she was about to tell him they should stop Daryl spoke, "I think… um… I think I need to go to a meeting." She completely understood and gave him a relieved smile. She was really proud of him for knowing what he needed and admitting he was feeling weak. Daryl knew, just like she did, that they needed to stop. But he also recognized that he wasn't going to handle it well, going back to the motorhome all alone, still craving her. One craving was so easy to substitute with another and he was still dealing with a very strong desire to drink.

"Being around people and being in public right now is probably a really great idea," Carol responded as they untangled themselves and she got her boobs situated back into her bra. "Somewhere we can't really continue what we started… only think about it…" she added, knowing that the second she was alone she'd be thinking about what they'd done and what she still wanted to do.

"Stahppppp," Daryl drawled, blushing. "I can't think about any of this in public," he said, adjusting himself.

Carol giggled, "One of the times being a woman has serious advantages."

When they returned home from the meeting almost 2 hours later Carol kissed him softly on the cheek. It had been a really good meeting and she could sense that Daryl was actually starting to enjoy going. He was his usual quiet self, but he seemed relaxed, not so rigid and looking like he wanted to bolt for the door. "This was one of the best nights of my life," she whispered. "Thank you." As he started to leave she remembered something. "Hey, good luck tomorrow with the interview. Will you text me and let me know how it went?"

"'Course," he said with a nod and a little smile. He seemed pleased she remembered. She watched him until he disappeared inside the trailer, then she shut the door and leaned back against it. Please let him get this job, she prayed in her head. Carol knew it would be a huge boost for him and she wanted so badly for Daryl to have good things happen in his life. Either way, she would be prepared to celebrate with him or help him to keep trying. 


	10. Chapter 10

"You didn't text me you jerk," Carol said as she came into the trailer and scowled at him. "You were supposed to let me know how it went."

"I'm sorry," he replied. "It's just… it went really well and I didn't want to jinx it by saying that it did."

"But you're saying it now," Carol narrowed her eyes. Then a smile appeared on her face, "Does that mean?" Daryl smiled back and nodded. "Oh my God," she squealed, running at him and throwing her arms around him. She planted 3 kisses on his cheek. "I'm so proud of you. This is amazing."

Daryl put his arms around her and pulled her into his lap so she wouldn't escape. "I don't even know how to celebrate without drinking," he commented, grinning at her.

She laughed and took his face in her hands. "There are other ways to celebrate," Carol commented, bringing her lips to his for a sultry kiss. "Congratulations." She stayed in his lap and didn't make any attempt to move. "So when do you start?"

"Monday," he replied. "8am for training for the first few days and then I start on the 7 to 3 shift." Daryl was looking forward to having a full time job and creating a new routine for himself, well, to tell the truth he'd never really had a routine at all. The pay wasn't great, but considering he currently had no income it was a step in the right direction.

Much to his disappointment Carol got off his lap. "Come inside," she said, without any further explanation. Daryl got up and followed her. She led him into the kitchen. "Sit," she said, pointing at the chair. He was starting to get nervous, her face seemed tense and serious all of a sudden. "I've been thinking about something, since last night…" Daryl had flashes of their intense makeout session on the couch and it made his dick twitch in his pants. "I didn't sleep all that well," she admitted.

"Did I do something…" Daryl asked, feeling confused. He thought everything was fine when they parted ways after the meeting.

"No, no," Carol shook her head. "God, no… you were… perfect," she sighed. "You did everything right and that's why this decision is so difficult for me." What decision? Was she ending things between them? He wondered, feeling the panic rise inside him. "I don't want to change the way things are because they're working… things are good - you're doing so well with your sobriety, you got a job today… But I realized something last night…" Her voice trailed off and she paused. Carol stopped pacing and took a seat, facing him. She leaned forward and took his hands, "Daryl… I can't be your sponsor anymore."

Her words were like a knife to his heart. How could he get through this without her? What was she doing? Did she want him to fail? "W-why?" he stammered. "Please… I need you."

"You need someone, yes," Carol agreed. "But it doesn't have to be me."

"But.. but… I want it to be you," he said sadly. The day had started off so promising and now she was breaking his heart. What the hell happened?

"I know, I know," she squeezed his hands. "But I can't… I can't do both." She bit her lip and looked at him. "And, um… Daryl… I want to be your girlfriend." Wait, what? His brain was not processing things correctly was it? Did she just say she wanted to be his girlfriend? And that's why she couldn't be his sponsor? "I mean, if you want that," she added softly, looking at him, her eyes wide.

"Yes," he nodded eagerly, maybe a little too eagerly, but he couldn't believe what was happening. "Of course I want that… but…" he had so many questions. "What changed your mind? Are you sure? I thought you wanted to take things slow? Where will I find a new sponsor?" Daryl was spewing out the questions as quickly as they came to mind. Carol leaned back in her chair and watched him with an amused smile. "Sorry," he added, giving her a sheepish look.

"It's okay," she replied, still smiling. "Yes I'm sure, let's start there. And as for what changed my mind - it was a couple of things. The first thing was when you stopped last night and wanted to go to a meeting. You were respecting my wishes and you also knew what you needed. And then when we went to the meeting… you just seemed so much more comfortable, like you actually wanted to be there - it was lovely to see."

"I did enjoy it," Daryl confirmed. Lately he was feeling like the meetings were an important part of his recovery and he was enjoying the confidence he felt when he left them.

"I'm glad," Carol said. "So I went back and forth between whether you needed me as your sponsor, whether it had to be me… and I decided that if you had the right replacement you would be just fine." She paused and he looked at her curiously. "So that's why I'm going to introduce you to my sponsor - the man who saved my life."

"But… what if he doesn't want to do it?" Daryl asked, feeling uncertain about trusting a stranger.

"He does, I talked to him this morning," Carol said with a satisfied smirk. "He's an amazing man Daryl, I swear. I would never hand you off like this if I didn't trust the person completely. If he said no I wouldn't have given you to anyone else - it had to be him."

"Okay," he replied. If Carol believed in this man Daryl was willing to give it a shot. "Can you just tell me why though? I ain't sure I get why you can't do both…" He had a pretty good idea, but he still needed to hear it from her.

"If something happens… You have to have someone who is still there for you, someone you would still want to be there," she said gently. "We might not work… or we might be amazing together," Carol said, reaching for his hand again. "But all I know is… I want to find out."

"Me too," Daryl replied softly.

"Besides, if I was a good sponsor I would have told you that this isn't the right time to be getting into a relationship," Carol sighed. "But don't worry, I already warned your new sponsor that this thing…" she pointed a finger from him to her. "Was happening."

Daryl reached out and touched her cheek, "So… uh… we still taking things slow?" he asked. He wanted her, so badly, but if she wanted to go slow he would do it. Whatever she wanted he would do.

Carol stood up and moved to stand between his legs. "I'm not a patient woman Daryl," she said seductively. He reached around her and let his hands settle on her ass. It felt so good to touch her, especially her sexy little bum. He squeezed gently and she moaned. He felt a stirring low in his belly. Could this day possibly get any better? "But…" Dammit, there was a but? "We're gonna have to be patient just a little longer because we kinda have a dinner date so you can meet your new sponsor."

Daryl groaned and she giggled. He loved the way her nose wrinkled up when she laughed. "How did you know I would agree?" Carol gave him a look. "Yeah, okay… I have a feeling even if I didn't agree right away… you can be pretty persuasive."

"You got that right," she replied, her blue eyes sparkling devilishly. "Now come on… it's time for you to meet Hershel." 


	11. Chapter 11

_AN: Sorry it took so long to update this one! Thanks for being patient with me. It's been a crazy few weeks and I also wanted to get Friend Zone finished before Episode 13. Love you all! Thanks for reading!_

 **Chapter 11**

Daryl was really nervous to meet this man, Hershel, but from the second they sat down with him at the table he felt relaxed. He was so easy to talk to and had such a wise way about him. It didn't take long for Daryl to realize that it really was going to be okay.

While they were waiting for dessert Carol excused herself to go to the restroom. "She's uh… pretty special," Hershel commented, his eyes watching Carol disappear. Daryl felt a twist of nerves in his stomach. Is this where it all went wrong? Is this where he got to meet the scary side of this man that seemed practically perfect? No one could be so kind and so wise anyway, could they? "Relax Daryl," he said with a chuckle. "I'm not gonna give you the overprotective Daddy speech. I have two girls of my own that I'm reserving that for." Daryl let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "Beside… I don't have to with her. I trust her. If she sees something in you, if she believes in you… I do to."

Daryl didn't know what to say at first, but finally the words started to come to him. "I think she might be an angel," he said, completely serious. "She didn't have no reason to help me like she did. I ain't sure where I'd be without her… Actually I do know," he added. "I'd be in prison." He met the older man's eye, "She saved me. Sounds so cliche, don't it? But it's true."

Hershel looked at him for a moment and then spoke, "When she tells you that you saved yourself - believe her." Daryl let his words sink in as he watched Carol making her way back towards the table. "Right now you think you're no one without her, and it ain't healthy. We'll talk more about it, but just think about it some until we meet up again."

The rest of dinner went by quickly and before they parted ways Daryl and Hershel made plans to meet up again, just the two of them, in a few days. Carol was a good buffer for their first meeting, but the men needed to get to know one another a little better and Daryl was completely comfortable to meet on their own.

"So, what did you think?" Carol asked as they were driving home. "Did you like him? Do you think you'll be okay with Hershel as your sponsor?"

"He seems like a great guy," Daryl answered truthfully. "He ain't you," he added shyly. "But I think it'll be alright." They chatted the rest of the way home, but Daryl couldn't think of much else than where they had left things when they headed out for dinner. He tried to focus on all the things they were talking about, but he knew he was leaving the conversation very one sided. Luckily Carol either didn't notice, or didn't mind. She easily filled in all the gaps he left and kept things from getting awkward.

They entered the house from the front and Daryl continued through to the back door. He didn't want to be presumptuous, so he would just go to his trailer and somehow sleep, even though his mind was locked on how good it felt to kiss her and touch her sexy curves. "Daryl?" she asked, from somewhere close behind him. "Are you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, sure," he mumbled, stopping and turning to face her. "I was just gonna…" His voice trailed off when he saw the way she was looking at him. Carol looked… well… hungry. "I… um… should I…" he stammered, not really sure what exactly he was trying to ask her.

"Should you get over here and kiss me?" Carol asked, smirking at him. "Yes, you should," she purred.

"Okay," he muttered, like an idiot. But Daryl made sure to make up for his social awkwardness with the kiss. He made sure it was very tender, but also sensual, letting her know it wasn't a goodnight kiss, it was the kind of kiss that meant he wanted more. His hands slid down her back to her ass - he needed to feel it again. God, she was so sexy, she had him hard in seconds.

The next few minutes were a bit of a blur, but every moment still felt completely natural. The kissing and groping on the way to her bedroom was intense and left Daryl dizzy with desire, but somehow he managed to hold it together long enough to get through undressing each other. "Jesus," he muttered, standing back to look at her. Carol was so beautiful and he couldn't help but wonder how on earth he'd got so lucky? She had small breasts but they were perky and suited her frame. He wasn't a fan of fake boobs like his big brother anyway, he preferred natural anyday. The curves of her hips were insanely sexy. She hid them well in her everyday attire - too well, he decided, then changed his mind thinking of other men seeing those curves. No, it was better if he was the only one who got to know what she really looked like.

Daryl was so caught up in her beauty and sexiness that he actually forgot he was bare assed with a massive erection, but it all came flooding back when Carol reached out and touched his dick. He groaned and felt his legs grow weak. Slowly she started to sink to her knees in front of him. "Wha… what… are you doing?" he mumbled, looking down at her in surprise.

Carol giggled, "Pretty sure you know exactly what I'm doing." He felt her hand wrap around his cock and Daryl sucked in a breath. "Don't worry, I'll take it slow," she added in a sultry voice. Slow… fast… it didn't matter… she was going to kill him, he was sure of it. But what a way to die.

"You don't have… oh fuck…." Daryl couldn't finish his thought because his dick was in her mouth and he no longer had any clue what the fuck he was even saying anymore. Carol did just as she said and moved slowly up and down his hard cock. He wasn't sure he was going to be able to stand up for much longer. He couldn't even remember the last time he had a blowjob. It likely wasn't all that long ago, but half the time he couldn't remember what happened when he was wasted. This one he would remember - for eternity.

The warmth of her mouth felt so incredible and the way she swirled her tongue around the tip of his penis was heavenly. There were feelings inside him that Daryl didn't understand, things he was absolutely certain that he had never felt before. But he would have to figure those out later because right then it was taking all his focus to stay on his feet and to not ejaculate prematurely like a teenage virgin.

Slow was not good… it was fucking bliss… which was not good because it was too good. If he let her continue much longer… Daryl stepped back, pulling out of her mouth with a little pop. He looked down at her and held out his hand. Carol placed her hand in his and he drew her to her feet. "You're amazing," he whispered, leaning in to nuzzle her cheek with his. Daryl wanted to make sure she knew he'd enjoyed it and didn't want to hurt her feelings in any way. He hoped she would understand why he needed her to stop.

Daryl moved his hands over her soft skin as he backed her towards the bed and eased her back. He could tell from the look on her face that she was expecting him to fuck her, but he didn't reach for the condom they had ready, instead he took his turn on his knees. He could smell her scent as he moved closer and it was driving him wild. The desire to taste her was overwhelming and it took over as he dove in and had his first lick. The whimper that came out of her was quite possibly the sexiest sound he'd ever heard. "Daryl?" she got out. "You don't… you don't have to…"

He almost laughed out loud at the absurdity of her comment - as if he wouldn't want to go down on her. But what made it even funnier was how similar they were because he realized she'd made the exact statement that he was trying to make to her moments earlier. Instead of laughing her merely lifted his head and grinned at her, then moved right back down and picked up where he left off.

Daryl enjoyed giving oral to a woman because of the control it gave him. He loved making Carol moan and sigh. He adored making her squirm and pant. And most of all he was absolutely delighted when she came, her fingers twisted in his hair, begging him for more, begging him not to stop until finally her body jolted and her thighs squeezed a little tighter against his face and once again she made that whimper sound that turned him on like so much.

He stayed between her legs, breathing in her scent a little longer, until Carol finally relaxed her body. "Oh wow…" she sighed, sitting up a bit to smile at him. "That was amazing." Daryl blushed and stood up as she laughed. "You are entirely too adorable." She bit her lip and reached for the condom. "Looks like you're ready for this, hmm?" Her eyes drifted to his erection, which was every bit as hard as it had been since they kissed back in the hallway.

Daryl felt like he was in a dream as he watched her open the package and roll the condom onto him. If it was a dream it was the best one he'd ever had. And it kept getting better as she moved further back on the bed and reached out to him. There were so many positions they could have chose, but Daryl had to admit that this was exactly how he'd imagined it and exactly what he'd wanted. She was giving him control again, maybe even stroking his ego a little, but letting him be on top.

It allowed him to last longer because he could change the pace when he needed to. It seemed like such a simple gesture, but it was everything. It reminded him how smart and intuitive Carol was and how well she'd got to know him in the short amount of time they had been in each other's lives. They had a deep emotional connection that heightened their physical intimacy even more.

He loved the way it felt to move inside her, but he loved even more the way it felt like they were connected by far more than their bodies. It was something he'd never known before and it was overwhelming to the point that he was crying by the time he finally came.

Daryl felt ridiculous and buried his face in her neck so she wouldn't see his tears, but when he heard her sniffle he lifted his head. There were tears streaming down her face as she smiled at him. He looked into her eyes and for the first time in his life - he knew he was home. 


	12. Chapter 12

_AN: Sorry guys, my updates have been few and far between lately. I just got over round 2 of the flu and now my rugrats are on March Break - which means very little writing time for mommy:( I'll do my best to keep getting a chapter of something out every few days. Thanks for your patience!_

 **Chapter 12**

The next few weeks were pretty incredible, probably the best weeks of his entire life. When the first week passed and things were still good Daryl couldn't shake that feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. It was too good and good things didn't happen to him. It wasn't until part way through the second week and numerous conversations with both Carol and Hershel that he started to relax a little and believe that maybe this was finally his chance at happiness.

The worst of the withdrawal symptoms had all but faded by that point, but there were moments his hands would start to shake or his body would just crave alcohol so intensely it was immobilizing. When it got too much he went to a meeting or called Hershel. Both options were quick fixes for him and sometimes he would end up doing both, just to be safe.

His new job was fulfilling. Not because it was a great job that he absolutely loved, but because he actually had full time employment and was bringing home a consistent paycheck. His boss was a complete dick and it was clear pretty quickly why employee turnover seemed quite high, but Daryl did as he was told and kept his nose down. He also kept an eye out for other jobs, but there hadn't really been anything worth applying for. He tossed out a couple of resumes at long shots, but wasn't surprised when he didn't get called for an interview. He didn't have the skills or experience for either of them, but they were jobs he was sure he would love. One was a ranger at a huge park west of the city. It involved tracking animal prints for a research project. Daryl knew he would be amazing at that part, but he didn't have the schooling to back his claims, just a lot of time alone in the forest. The other job was just a security position at a large factory, but it paid extremely well.

Those were dreams, reality was a lot different - but Daryl was very much okay with his current reality. He got to come home every day to the most beautiful woman in the world. It didn't matter how good or bad his day was because the second he saw her face, held her, kissed her - life was heaven.

Things between them were good - very good, amazing even. She seemed happy and that made him happy. Daryl still couldn't help but say "seemed" as if he wasn't exactly sure because he was still working on that self confidence that would allow him to believe a woman like her could be happy with a man like him. It didn't matter how many times Hershel reminded him that Carol was his equal, Daryl put her high above him because he adored her so deeply. But Hershel was wise and he was wearing down the walls Daryl had spent a lifetime building. Someday soon they would come down and Daryl was scared of what that would feel like, but part of him was excited to find out.

Daryl hadn't moved into the house, even though Carol had offered more than once. He just wasn't ready to make any changes that could impact how well things were going. If it ain't broke, don't fix it was his motto. He wanted to make sure Carol still had her own space when she needed or wanted it. He'd slept over a few times and they ate together, sometimes showered together, but he never officially moved in. Living in the backyard was close enough for the time being.

That very morning while he was shampooing his hair Carol had joined him in the shower. She had worked late the night before and he was surprised she was awake. "What are you doing up?" he asked, wiping the water out of his face.

Carol shrugged and gave him a demure smile, "I heard you come in, so I thought I would see if you wanted company?" Daryl reached for her and pulled her naked body into the spray of the water with him. She gasped and gave him a look, reaching behind him to turn up the hot water like she did every time. "Always so cold," she sighed, running her hands up his back.

"I can warm ya up," Daryl replied, bending his head to kiss her. Once things started he lost all track of time. His entire focus was on her - their wet bodies slipping over each other, the way she tasted, the way she felt in his arms, the gasp she made when he pressed her back against the tiles… And everything that came after that until the point they were both ready to collapse on the shower floor. "Shit," Daryl gasped. "I'm gonna be late for work."

"I'm sorry," Carol said sweetly. She was sorry, but she wasn't really sorry and he was okay with that.

Somehow Daryl had managed to get out of the house and was only 4 minutes late for work. But of course his boss had noticed and spouted off his disapproval for a good 5 minutes. Daryl apologized profusely and promised to never let it happen again, but he knew he was on the shit list for a while. Oh well, he thought, if I'm gonna join everyone else on the list there's no better reason than early morning sex with Carol.

Daryl threw himself into his work and hoped maybe his boss would notice and forget about his tardiness. But at 11:17 am his cell rang and when Daryl looked at the screen he knew he had to take it. He dashed into the restroom and picked up the call. "Right now? But I'm at work. My boss isn't going to let me leave. I know… I know…" Daryl sighed. "Yep. Be there in half an hour."

Daryl hung up and wanted to smash the cell phone on the ground. It was time for a random pee test and there was no getting out of it. If he wanted to stay out of jail he had to follow the protocol they had agreed upon and random testing was a key part of the deal. But what the fuck was he going to tell his boss? He was already in shit for showing up late, now he was asking to leave for close to an hour. Daryl wracked his brain with how to approach things as he wandered towards his boss' office. He thought about something Hershel had said to him about being truthful about his alcoholism. He made the point that Alcoholism was a disease and it wasn't something to be ashamed of, especially when you were fighting so hard to overcome it.

By the time he arrived at the office Daryl decided the best thing to do was to tell the truth. "Excuse me, Sir?" he spoke as he wrapped on the door gently.

"Whaddya need now Dixon?" he grumbled.

"Well, uh, I need to leave for about an hour…" Daryl started.

His boss spun around in his chair and sneered at him, "You fucking shitting me right now?" He crossed his arms. "You need to leave? What the hell for?"

Daryl felt his neck get hot, but he pushed through. It's nothing to be ashamed of, he told himself. "Well, I have an arrangement with the police and uh, I have to go for a random pee test… for alcohol," he added quickly, wanted to be sure his boss didn't think it was a drug test.

"You a drunk? And in trouble with the law?" he grunted.

Daryl nodded slowly. "Yeah, I am an alcoholic," he admitted out loud for the first time to a stranger. "I got in some trouble, but I was given a program that I have to follow and I won't get jail time."

"Jail time? Holy fuck," he groaned. "Ii didn't know I hired a goddam criminal."

"It's not… I'm not… It wasn't… I was drunk…" Daryl stammered, trying to explain, but not really getting anywhere. "Please sir, I need this job. I'll only be gone one hour and I'll stay late to make up for it. I'll stay an extra two hours if you want - without pay."

"What happens if I say no? What if you don't show up?" he asked, with a sly look in his eyes that made Daryl's blood run cold.

"I have to go," Daryl said, feeling defeated. "It could null the deal if I don't and I could go to jail."

His boss scratched his chin with a cold smile. "Well then, the answer is no. No, you may not leave. If you go, take your stuff - you're fired."

Daryl felt like he was going to throw up. This was it, this was that moment he knew had been coming. It was too good to be true. Things were too good. Daryl wondered if this was actually a fireable offence or if he could fight it, but what did it matter? Did he really want to work for this fucking asshole anyway? Did he want to work with someone who lacked even an ounce of compassion? He didn't. But what other options did he have?

Somehow Daryl found it within himself to not completely blow up and go apeshit crazy on this fucker. The last thing he needed was an assault charge because he would end up in jail for sure. "Thank you for the opportunity Sir," he mumbled, backing out of the room as his world was spinning. He felt completely numb as he grabbed his things and left the building.

In his daze he somehow managed to drive across town and get the pee test done, but once that was over he had no idea where to go or what to do. He wanted a drink so bad and he knew he should call Hershel but he didn't want to talk about his big failure. He certainly wasn't ready to tell Carol yet. It was so good, he thought, tears welling up in his eyes, so good.

Daryl drove around town for a full 2 hours. He looked down and realized his tank was almost empty so he pulled into the next plaza and parked. When he looked up he realized he was right in front of one of his favourite watering holes.

"Must be a sign," Daryl muttered, climbing out of the car and heading into the bar.


	13. Chapter 13

Carol felt the panic rising inside her, threatening to consume her in a way that felt familiar from so long ago. She hadn't been in that place for years and she refused to let it take over. She was stronger now. She could control it.

It was this same extreme panic that had always led her to the bottle in the past - and how ironic was it that what brought it on was her fear that Daryl was in a bar somewhere getting wasted? She wanted to believe in him. She was desperate to believe that everything he'd learned, from meetings, from Hershel… from her, had prepared him for a time like this. But Carol knew those expectations were unrealistic. He was still recently sober in the grand scheme of things and he'd suffered a debilitating loss. Years of using alcohol as a coping mechanism couldn't always be changed in a few weeks.

When he wasn't home after work as usual Carol had started to worry a bit. But she convinced herself that perhaps something had come up and she waited another hour before she tried his cell phone. She left a message and tried to wait for him to call back, but in only a few minutes she was trying again.

Finally, after 6 unanswered calls she decided to try him at work. She had really wanted to avoid that. If he was just working overtime or busy doing something and didn't have his cell she would feel like a crazy person for panicking. But Daryl had never disappeared like this in all the time she had known him and she was deeply concerned.

Her concerns were fully validated when she hung up the phone. His boss was clearly an asshole and even though he hadn't told her why Daryl had been fired she knew it hadn't been his fault. She just knew.

Carol also knew Daryl would be devastated. He had been so proud of the fact he had a full time job and was finally making money to support himself, and help her. She thought about the first time he'd gone out and bought groceries for the week for them. She was pretty sure he'd spent almost his entire paycheck but she could just see how good it made him feel to contribute. She had never made him feel like he owed her anything but Carol knew it had never been easy for Daryl to take her handouts with nothing to offer in return. The job had been such a blessing and it came at the perfect time.

Now it was gone and even though Carol had faith he would find another one, she knew Daryl wouldn't see beyond the bleakness of that very day. She dialed Hershel, praying that Daryl had called him and maybe they were together. But he hadn't. "I'll be right there," Hershel replied. "We'll find him. It's gonna be ok."

Carol was pacing, waiting for Hershel to arrive. He understood the fear and anxiety she was feeling and he would calm her. It would calm her just to be in his presence. She battled the way out of the darkness she was falling into and by the time Hershel pulled into the driveway she had herself mostly together.

"Where should we start?" Carol asked. "Meetings… or bars?" Hershel gave her a look and Carol nodded her head. If Daryl was going to go to a meeting he would have called one of them. They started near his work and checked every bar, pub and licensed restaurant they could find. Carol was quickly losing hope. Where could he possibly be? They drove North and tried the next town - still nothing. While Hershel drove and they searched she tried Daryl's cell a few more times, but still there was no answer.

It took almost 2 hours and a break to fill up the gas tank, but they finally found him. Hershel parked 3 spots over from Daryl's car and killed the engine. Carol didn't move. "Hey," Hershel said softly, placing his hand over hers. "Whatever we find in there… he's still the same man who kissed you goodbye this morning." Carol glanced over at him, trying not to blush. They'd done a lot more than kissing that morning. Suddenly she realized something that made her stomach lurch. Had she made Daryl late? Was it her fault he'd been fired? "Carol? What's wrong? I was just assuming…"

"This might be my fault," she whispered, trying to fight off the millions of butterflies in her stomach. "I kinda distracted him this morning…" This time she did blush. "If he was late… and that's why he got fired… He might be mad at me…" Carol put down the window to get some air. "Maybe you should go in without me," she said sadly.

"Come on," Hershel said, reaching over to undo her belt. "There's only one way to find out. But I have a feeling that you're the last person Daryl would ever blame for anything other than the smile on his face."

Reluctantly Carol got out of the car. There was no sense in arguing with Hershel and she would have sat there making herself crazy with worry and curiosity. The closer they got to the bar the more nervous she became. She had no idea what to expect or what condition Daryl would be in by that point. How long had he been there?

Hershel opened the door and she followed him inside. It took a moment for their eyes to adjust to the dim lighting inside. It was getting late, but it was still quite bright outside. Finally she spotted him and pointed for Hershel. Carol could see he had a drink in front of him and her heart sank. It's going to be okay, she told herself. It's just a bump in the road. She'd told Daryl this was a very likely possibility. She'd fallen off the wagon a time or two as well and she got back on every time. He could too and both her and Hershel would help him.

They walked up and he didn't seem to notice them. Carol's heart was hammering. "Daryl?" she said gently. She took a step closer and she felt his arms wrap around her legs. She almost started crying when he laid his head against her tummy. Carol hugged his head and looked at Hershel. Both their eyes were full of concern wondering how much he'd drank. But Carol also felt relief. He was seeking her out for comfort so he certainly didn't blame her for losing his job. "You okay?" she whispered, stroking his hair. Holding him close she could smell the whiskey on him.

She wasn't even close to prepared for his reply. "I think so." Carol drew back and looked at him. Was it the booze talking? Her heart was hammering in her chest. "I didn't swallow any," he said shyly, looking up at her and then over to Hershel. "Been here damn near 4 hours and I ain't drank any." Carol felt the tears of relief start to stream down her cheeks. "Wanted to," he added. "So bad. Even picked it up a couple of times… My hand was shaking and I spilled some on my shirt… That's why I smell and why the glass is half empty, half full… whatever." Carol didn't know what to say. She really didn't want to let on that she had feared the worst, even though she knew he would understand. They were alcoholics. They all knew the immense struggle they faced - daily.

Daryl seemed like he wanted to talk so Carol and Hershel slowly took a seat. "When I first got here and I was battling with whether I was gonna take that first sip… I wanted to stay sober - for you," he looked at Carol. "And for you," he turned to Hershel. "Ain't never had no one believe in me like y'all do." Carol was feeling so many different emotions listening to him speak, but the one that stood out the most was how proud she was. "But the longer I sat here something kept eating at me…" he looked at Hershel again. "A wise man once told me that I have to stay sober for myself and it never made no sense to me." Daryl rubbed his facial hair in thought. "But I get it now. Finally."

He reached across the table and took Carol's hand. "I do still want to stay sober for you, because I wanna be the kind of guy who deserves a girl like you," Daryl blushed and Carol felt the tears coming back again. "But I know now that I can't rely on being a good person for other people - I just gotta be a good person." He looked a bit confused. "It makes sense in my head, but I ain't saying it right." He sighed with frustration.

"You're saying it just fine Son," Hershel said encouragingly. Carol noticed that he looked like a proud Papa and it made her happy.

Daryl relaxed a little, she could see his face change. "Can you tell us what happened?" Carol asked, curious what had went down at his work.

"I could…" his voice trailed off. "But if you don't mind, I think I would like to do it a different way." Daryl stood up and Carol glanced over at Hershel as they stood slowly. "Guess it's time to actually say it… I'm an alcoholic." His words hit hard - it was the first time he'd voiced it that way - just like they do at meetings. "I'm ready to talk," Daryl said. "I want to share my story with a group - will you both come?"

He looked nervous like they might actually say no and it was rather cute. "Wouldn't miss it," Hershel replied, clapping Daryl on the shoulder.

"Me neither," Carol added, slipping her arm through his. As they started to leave the bar she looked back at the glass on the table. It was most definitely half full. But it was also terrifying how badly she wanted to pick it up and down the rest of the whiskey. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic, she thought. The three of them would have that in common their entire lives. Carol looked away and smiled. She couldn't wait to finally hear Daryl tell his story.


	14. Chapter 14

_AN: I'm gonna be completely honest with you all. A few weeks ago I decided to give up writing. I decided I was done and wasn't going to finish anything, I was just walking away. But after being away and not writing anything for a while I had this nagging feeling inside that I needed to listen to. So I decided I couldn't get this fic so close to the end and not finish it. I honestly don't know what the future holds at this point. I've had a couple requests to finish Gimme Shelter so I might consider doing that. I also have a couple McReedus fics that I'm still thinking of converting such as Rewind and Desperado. I have actually started working on Rewind so I'll likely post that one. Beyond that I really don't know. So without further adieu here is the conclusion of this fic. Happy mother's day to all the moms out there. XOXO._

 **The Serenity Prayer - Ch 14 - Conclusion**

Carol had no doubt that she was just as nervous as Daryl looked, perhaps even more. He'd already committed to his plan of speaking that evening. He'd had a lot of time to think about it. But by the time her and Hershel found him it was sprung on them and they went in search of a meeting immediately.

She honestly wasn't sure what she was so nervous about. The group was small, just a comfortable number that would make Daryl feel that he really had spoken to a large enough audience, but wasn't too big as to be intimidating. Carol examined the faces and saw many that were familiar to her. No, she was quite certain Daryl couldn't have found a better meeting for his first time speaking to the group and sharing his story.

They went through the formalities of the meeting and when it was time for people to talk a young woman jumped right up. Carol looked over and saw the disappointment on Daryl's face and she knew he wanted badly to get it over with so to speak. Luckily she was quick. When the leader asked if there was anyone else Daryl didn't speak up right away and Carol wondered if he'd changed his mind. But slowly she saw him get to his feet and she smiled, even though she felt like she was going to throw up and her heart was racing.

"Oh, um… Hi," Daryl's voice started off shaky. "Name's Daryl Dixon and I'm an alcoholic." Carol almost started to cry right then, just hearing him start off with the typical words she'd heard so many before him say. "I um, well I guess I wanna tell you all how I got this way… how I uh, ended up here and stuff."

His words weren't elegant and he looked at the floor and shuffled his feet a lot. Sometimes he talked too fast and other times he mumbled. He even cussed, more than a few times, but none of that mattered. Once he started his story everyone listened. It wasn't just the usual polite attention you give in times like this, but people were nothing short of captivated.

It didn't take long to see the first person besides her and Hershel wiping away tears. Carol was certain that by the end there was not a dry eye in the room. What Daryl was doing was no more courageous or brave that those who had stood there before him and bared their souls to a room full of strangers but the story he told was so tragic and sad because it began when he was child, when someone should have been loving him and caring for him. Carol had heard the story before but listening to it right then it was like hearing it for the first time. She had tears rolling down her cheeks and she couldn't look at Daryl's face, as much as she wanted to, because some how he was holding it together when no one else could.

His tragic tale of a forgotten child, lost and alone, a boy who was more comfortable in the woods than anywhere else, who grew into a teenager who needed booze to be anything that resembled social, to a man who couldn't get through a day sober, was like a knife to the heart. Carol was certain that every person in the room just wanted to hug him and saw him as the little child whose mom died and whose dad beat him. But she didn't see him that way at all. She saw the man who had overcome the impossible and wanted to make himself a better person. And that was the man she was certain she was in love with.

"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for one person. She saved me when I needed her most and now I know that for the rest of my life it's up to me to save myself. Thanks, uh…" Daryl seemed aware of the group all of a sudden and aware of the fact that he'd just bared his heart and soul to many others. "Thanks for listening," he said quickly and then sat down.

Carol touched his knee and gave him a smile, wiping away the last of the tears on her cheeks. He looked a bit apologetic and she shook her head to reassure him and smiled at him again. They stayed for the rest of the meeting but before they could leave many people wanted to come and talk to Daryl. The men shook his hand and most of the women hugged him. Daryl was his usual awkward self, blushing at the compliments. More than one person told Daryl they were inspired by him and his story and they all thanked him for sharing. Carol watched, filled with pride.

Hershel snuck in and let Daryl know how proud he was in a very paternal way. Carol tried to give them space to have their moment, but she couldn't help but eavesdrop just a little. She realized in that moment how impactful it was for Daryl to have a man like Hershel in his life. He'd never had a reliable man in his life. He didn't know what it was like to have a father. Carol was certain that if he didn't already, it wouldn't take long for Hershel to look at Daryl like the son he never had.

When they got home, a long while later it was late and Carol was exhausted. She knew Daryl had to be tired too after the emotion and stress of the day. She didn't tell him how proud she was of him on the way home. She waited until they were in the house to give him some time to reflect on what had just happened. And when she did finally speak she didn't dwell on it.

"What you did tonight was incredibly brave and I'm really proud of you," Carol said. When his face got that same awkward look she saved him again. "You don't have to say anything, just take the compliment and move on," she said with a little laugh.

Carol took a step closer so she was in his personal space, only inches from his body. "Uh, how did you want to move on?" he asked, gazing down at her, his eyes lingering on her lips. Carol opened her mouth slightly and seductively licked her lips. "That's what I thought," he growled before attacking her.

She wasn't sure how they were going to make it to the bedroom but somehow they did leaving a trail of clothing behind them. It wasn't until they were in her room that Carol finally slowed things down and took control. She wanted this time to be all about him. She wanted to remind him that he had someone who cared about him, and she wanted to make him feel loved for perhaps the first time in his adult life.

When Daryl tried to make a move to lift her onto the bed Carol stopped him. "Lay down," she said. "Lay down," she said again, when he didn't move. He gave her a look of curiosity but did as she asked. Carol slowly started to work over his body caressing him and kissing him gently all over. She stopped before kissing his lips, "I love you Daryl." She cupped his face and repeated her words, "I love you and I promise I'm not going to leave you." He'd talked about all the people he loved leaving him earlier and she wanted him to know she wouldn't be another one of those people. He started to speak and she knew he was going to say 'I love you too' so she stopped him. "Not tonight," she whispered, putting a finger to his lips. "Tonight is about you."

It pleasantly surprised her when he didn't protest and she did make it all about him. When she finished kissing every inch of him she moved to his dick and gave him an incredible blow job, pushing him almost to the edge before she stopped. She knew it was good by the way he responded, the low growls and the way grabbed her ass and squeezed.

It amazed her how good it felt to give pleasure to someone else and not worry about yourself. In trying to make it perfect for him it was actually just as incredible for her. The sense of accomplishment she felt watching him come as she rode him was just as amazing as the feeling of his dick inside her - it filled her up in a different way - emotionally.

Carol curled her body next to him, leaning her head on his chest. She didn't speak for a while, instead she listened to his heartbeat, rapid at first, until it eventually slowed to a resting pace. The whole time he gently stroked her arm lightly with his fingertips.

Finally she spoke, "I'm taking a personal day tomorrow and I have the next two days off after that." She propped up a bit to look at him.

"You're gonna help me drop off resumes?" he guessed.

Carol shook her head. "Nope. We'll get there eventually. But I thought maybe we could fire up that RV and spend a few days in the woods." The look on his face when he'd talked about losing himself deep in the forest hunting and tracking had demonstrated how passionate he was about it. "I'm probably going to be annoying and slow you down out there but I was hoping you might teach me how you track… and maybe someday we could hunt together too."

Daryl looked extremely touched. "I would love that," he replied softly. His eyes lit up and she knew he was already excited. He started to get out of bed, "I'll have everything ready to go in the morning."

Carol caught his arm to stop him. "Feel free to get up early and pack stuff but… I think it's time you stayed right here in my bed… for good." He opened his mouth to speak and she already knew what he was going to say. "Yes, I'm sure," Carol answered. He still looked hesitant and she tugged him into bed. "Just accept it," she added with a yawn.

Carol took up the spot cuddled up against him again. When his body relaxed she knew he had finally given in. She also knew it was just the first of many nights she would spend showing this beautiful man how much she loved him. She believed she was meant to find him that night and he was meant to remind her what it looks like to rise from the ashes and inspire others to do the same. Their love was truly meant to be. It was one of those things you just couldn't change.

 _God grant me the serenity  
to accept the things I cannot change;  
courage to change the things I can;  
and wisdom to know the difference._

 _Living one day at a time;  
enjoying one moment at a time;  
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;  
_

 _taking, as He did, this sinful world  
as it is, not as I would have it;  
trusting that He will make all things right  
if I surrender to His Will;  
_

 _that I may be reasonably happy in this life  
and supremely happy with Him  
forever in the next.  
_

 _Amen.  
_

~ The End ~


End file.
